


Oh God, Oh God

by Burningchaos



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: First Kiss, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-28
Updated: 2010-05-28
Packaged: 2017-10-09 18:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/90375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burningchaos/pseuds/Burningchaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for sga_santa '06</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh God, Oh God

  
Avoiding a person in Atlantis was virtual impossible. Not to mention the fact that Rodney was on the same team with the person he was attempting to ignore. Which leaded to him feeling trapped, and that in turn made him a miserable bastard... well, more so the usual. Rodney knew John was the worst possible person for him. How could he not, John was a heartbreaker. In fact he wasn't even a light snack for a guy like John.

It never failed, though, the moment he came within five feet of John he went all warm and gooey. Hell, he smiled and laughed. Everything about John sent his well-developed sense of self-preservation into a tailspin. John was worse than chocolate. He was more addictive than coffee; John, sadly, was his drug of choice.

Which is why Rodney kept running away.

So, yeah, it all made perfect sense. John was the worse possible man for him. He had an overdeveloped hero complex, a libido stuck in overdrive and he was just so...so wrong for him.

Not that Rodney's body or heart was listening to his mind. Oh no! Every time he saw John he wanted to roll over like some sad puppy to have his belly scratched. Well maybe not his belly, but he wanted something scratched and damn it, he wanted soon. No, Rodney chased that thought away. Bad, bad thoughts.

Rodney hurried down the hall to the mess, he wanted, no make that needed, to get there and finish eating before John showed up. He had to, because his survival depended on it. Okay, his sanity anyways. Rushing through the line, he heaped up his tray with the mystery kinda-sorta meat dish of the day, thankfully it was the right color, this time.

He sat off by himself because he didn't feel like talking, not that that in itself was unusual. However with his emotions running wild, and with his luck, he might spill his guts about John to the first person that said hello. Hell, he just wanted to eat and run... Literally.

"Whatcha doin, Rodney?" A familiar voice said right behind him. Instantly Rodney realized his mistake. Some genius he was he had sat with his back to the door. Talk about idiocy in the highest degree.

"Well, Colonel, I am sure it doesn't take a savant to see I am eating. So go away and let me eat." Rodney tried to keep the desperation out of his voice. John was wearing the T-shirt of doom. It was small; way too small, possibly child size, and it clung to his chest as he moved. Suddenly, Rodney wanted to push John down and lick lunch off his wonderful pectoral muscles. Oh, yes, that would just go over so very, very well now wouldn't it?

John sat across from Rodney, a pout covering his beautiful face, "Well that just isn't nice at all. Nope, here I am being all social..."

"Sheppard, you are _always_ social." Rodney snorted.

Some how John managed to frown and pout at the same time, "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

Rodney couldn't fathom how John managed to look like a two year old and remain sexy. It was diabolical and he was sure there was a conspiracy involved. Damn John and his Ancient genes. It seemed he and Atlantis wanted the same thing, John touching them... A lot.

"I am sure if you think about it hard, really hard, and in someplace else you will figure it out." Rodney looked back down at his less then appetizing lunch. He had lost his appetite, which was just sad and under normal circumstances, impossible. Rodney pushed his tray away and saw John studying him.

"What?" Rodney snapped, John plus staring equals bad. Very bad, the intense look coveing John's slightly confused face always made Rodney want to leap over the table, or whatever else was in the way, and kiss him... Hard.

"Nothing. I am just trying to figure out what your problem is." John said, his tone puzzled as his eyes searched Rodney's face for unseen answers.

Rodney felt his temper soar, "My problem! My problem? I don't have a problem. Not a single one." Defensiveness dripped off every word.

"Rodney, if you don't have a problem, why did you leap up and start dancing around?" John grinned.

"I don't have a problem." Rodney whispered as he sat down heavily. Damn it, he hadn't even realized he stood up. He wanted nothing more than to crawl back to his room, pull the covers over his head and start the day over.

John smirked as he leaned forward, "Yeah, I can see that. I, however, do have one. See I know this guy. I've been told he is an acquired taste, but he is driving me insane with desire. He is kinda snarky and has this crooked mouth that makes me want to kiss him. In fact, I haven't been able to fill out a report in days. Do you know why?"

Rodney held his breath, John was testing him. He had to be. "No, I don't and I am not sure I want to know about your perverted fantasies."

"Really?" John practically drawled, "Cause I don't see you leaving."

He couldn't move, his legs and ass were frozen to the bench. When his palms began to sweat as Rodney realized just how fucked he really was and not in a good way either.

"So, about that guy I was mentioning...he is scary smart. It is so sexy." John was looking him in the eye as he spoke, "I get hard watching him think." John smiled that _lazy come fuck me_ smile he had to have patented back on Earth. Rodney felt his chest tighten; he didn't want to hear John talk about Zelenka. Beside that man wasn't nearly as smart as he was. John continued, " Every time he bends over it is a major distraction, and those blue shirts that he wears ride up just enough to give me a glimpse of his lower back when he does. I swear my mouth waters when I think about it."

"Look, Colonel, I said I am not interested, and I am the one trying to eat here. I am _not_ Dear Abby. Go bug Kate with your issues." Rodney pulled his plate back toward him and tried, oh so desperately, to focus on it.

"Aw, come on, Rodney, I thought we were friends. I mean guy-to-guy, right? I can't imagine Kate understanding this at all." That pleading whine was back, the one that made John so hard to resist.

Rodney snorted, again. He really needed a better way to deal with John, snark wasn't working and although escape seemed like a wonderful option it just wasn't working either.

"Look, this is all pointless. You have _nothing_ to say that I want to hear. In fact, you are wasting my valuable time. Time that I could be discovering, oh, I don't know cold fusion or how to create a Zedpm. So, why don't you scuttle off to whatever dark corner you were lurking in before you decided to come play bother the genius and let me eat. Than maybe I can get back to work." Rodney's tone was cold and harsh, even to his own ears.

"Ouch," John leaned back and stood up. "Fine, just fine. You don't want to hear what I have to say. Great." Rodney wanted to apologize; he had never seen John look quite so hurt before. Rodney watched the other man warily as he walked around the table and flinched as John yanked him up.

"Then how about a little show and tell?" John cupped Rodney's jaw and stroked it with his thumbs as he pulled him closer. Suddenly, Rodney's mouth went dry and his stomach was fluttering. He couldn't breathe. Warm, soft lips covered his own just as he had opened his mouth to draw in a deep breath.

Unconsciously, Rodney raised his hands to John's waist, tugging him closer. He could hear his blood pounding in his veins as John continued to kiss him, slowly dipping his tongue in and out. John gently bit down on Rodney's lower lip before sliding his hands down to Rodney's shoulders and pulling away.

Glassy eyed and now extremely horny, it took a moment for Rodney to remember where they were. Clarity returned as John's face lit up with a happy smug smile. He swayed and John quickly reached out to steady him.

"Oh God, Oh God, tell me no one saw that..." Rodney panicked, in fact he was fairly sure he was about t o have a nervous breakdown..

"Nope, no one saw. We were just kissing in the middle the mess. Rodney,_ everyone saw_. People are exchanging money and holding up number cards. Zelenka thinks we need work though."

Rodney gasped, "I need work." His eyes still glued to John's "Do I need work?"

"If kissing was an Olympic sport, you would win the gold..." John flashed him a _ cat that ate the canary type_ grin.

"So I gather it wasn't Zelenka you were talking about?"

"Zelenka? You thought I was talking about Zelenka? Oh, that is good." John put his arm around Rodney's shoulders and led him toward the hallway. "What do you say about going someplace a little less crowded?"

"My shirts drive you to distraction?" Rodney was still befuddled, John wanted him.

"Yeah and just imagine how distracted I'll feel once I get you out of it." John whispered as eyes flashed hotly with desire.

"You know; my room is much, much closer then yours." Rodney started to walk toward the transporter a little faster.

Laughing John sped up to stay in step, "You know ideas like that are why you are the genius. But the idea here, though, is to get there together." John turned Rodney toward him when they stopped in front of the transporter, "Because I can't do this," John leaned in and captured Rodney's lips in a quick bone melting kiss, one that caused him to let out a manly whimper as John pulled back and finished, "if you get there by yourself."

Rodney nodded and as the doors opened he yanked John into the transporter. "Yes, yes, of course. Makes perfect sense. So, let's hurry, shall we?"


End file.
